Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
