I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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