I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
