k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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