He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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