During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
