Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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