Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
