fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
