there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
