did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
