The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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