No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
