TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
