girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm bleeding and have questions
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
