Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You took a bar mat shot.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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