my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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