That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize