i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
