Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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