you mean i was at the winter classic?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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