so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Drunk is a universal language darling
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
