Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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