By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
