shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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