i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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