Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
