If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize