Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
vagina is talking i cant
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Randomize
