Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
