is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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