remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We are all done wearing pants today
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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