i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
