I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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