Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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