Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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