My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
