For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i think my cat just said my name.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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