i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
