is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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