There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
