There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
