Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
