They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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