I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
