lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Randomize
