Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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