There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
