i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
