Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
