when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
