My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
