Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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