did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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