two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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