letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Are we still banned from the library?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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