Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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