your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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