Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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