sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
