Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
