How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
