I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I need water and some morals
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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