called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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