Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
