I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
