think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
