My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
