There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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