I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
