Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
