We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
