What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
