20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Houston, we have a blender
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
