Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
How does one acquire holy water?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize