In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
