He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
