I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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