I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
