Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize