Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
