she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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