She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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