Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
