i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
