Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
